Dear Sara, We all make judgments based on our own experience.You had too much going on during your divorce to possibly consider dating. This same script, I’m reminded, played out in the life of one of my favorite clients who fell in love with a separated man.Decide wisely because a lot of heartache is at stake.Currently, I am using online dating to meet new prospects, though I choose not to date anyone who is going through divorce.And there’s a strong chance your separated man has a long way to go.( still married; just saying…) Now before anyone accuses me of picking on men, let me hasten to say that separated women can be just as “challenging” to date as separated men.In fact, I pity any man who dated me when I was separated; I was messed up, and didn’t even know it!I also hasten to add that not separated man is disastrous to date – and should be considered as a unique individual.
Being separated and not dating is one of the hardest temptations to resist. You'll also make your decision about more than just what you want.My concern, however, is that women are blindly and/or naively getting involved with separated men without understanding the huge risk: that is, . If your separated man consistently avoids talking about his divorce or says things to minimize or downplay it, consider it a warning sign worth flagging.If you chose to proceed in dating him, I caution you to proceed slowly and with eyes wide open. Comments like, “Bah, I just want it over,” or “Doesn’t matter, we’ve been strangers for years,” may seem casual, even confident — but they also mask what’s going on underneath and behind the scenes.Do you advise your clients to take the date or run as quick as possible?Any advice would be wonderful- thanks in advance for your response!They have given many examples of relationships that began quickly after a separation/break-up, so I am beginning to wonder if I am selling myself short – being too rigid.